I'm no mind reader, I have no clue if people actually like the things I have to say or actually care to listen. Then when it seems like someone finally listens, it's like they are just judging me inside their little minds. Like can you not. I hate having to explain myself and I love the people who get me. I start about five different blog posts and delete most of them, and when I finally come up with a good idea, I'm just like nobody is going to read this because I wrote it. I blog about a lot of my personal experiences and the people I'm around, if you're close to me chances are I blogged about you. Don't worry if I like you it's usually funny, nice things. But I will say I do feel bad for the friends I stopped talking to, the one's I cut off. I didn't exactly mean to, but I did and I had my reason's sadly.But the thing is, when I miss someone, I talk to them. I at least acknowledge them, just wanting them to know I do think about them.
I watched this move called Stuck in Love, and it was a depressing, happy, amazing movie that just kind of moved me. Lily Collins played a cynical romance hating nineteen year old and Logan Lerman played the sweet guy who just wanted to get to know her. She basically told the guys in the movie she would have sex with them because she knew they wanted to do it and she wanted to do it so it would be easy. Obviously she could read minds. Basically the moral of the story was that, the time makes the heart grow fonder.
I feel like this is about to get personal really fast so... Sorry.
I needed distance, I'm pretty sure at one point everyone feels like they can't deal with something anymore, they're so over it. Isn't that why break ups happen? I doubt every guy a girl dates is a cheating man whore. Just like I doubt that every girl the a guy goes out with is going to leave them for that guy's older/younger brother. No pretty sure decent people do exist. So I needed to seperate myself from the people who were causing me the most pain. They never hurt me or did me wrong, I just want to move on. It was like that much needed long run where as you're running, nothing else matters. It's like being in a free world where it's ok if you look stupid while your jumping on your trampoline because no one is here to judge you. Now I'm no gymnast, but I was tired of doing flips for people who wouldn't do the same for me. I can't confide in someone who can't keep a secret and I can't comfort someone who won't take it. One time I told someone I'd never had my first kiss before and they just told me all my flaws and that I was pathetic. You know whats scary? I'm afraid that I almost believed them.
One of the reasons I love texting so much is because, I actually have time to think things through with out feeling rushed. There are moments when I'm just like, I could have said this or that, but really no need to over think a text message. Sure if my crush texted me I'd probably be a little excited-oh wait- he doesn't have my number. Because, well that would just make me happy.
"I got a thousand friends that follow me/
Just to read about my misery"
Just to read about my misery"
I don't want people to listen or talk to me because they think I'm miserable and need comforting. No that is not me. I'm a happy person who's just going through life,I've just come to not deal with certain things anymore. I'm a teenage girl who just wishes people would understand the way I think about things.I like it when people talk to me because they want to.
But right now I'm just counting stars....
