Looks can be deceiving ....

Often enough we judge people, places and things by the way they look. If this doesn't apply to you well then good for you. But if this idea does apply to you do you ever just wonder if people judge you the same way and it bothers you because unless you're a mind reader how are you supposed to know what that person is thinking?

One of my coworkers laughs at me all the time and she literally thinks it's adorable how I have all these thoughts and beliefs about people. She told me to give it a few years and the thought would go away. Today she was joking with me and said I was shallow but she later said that I'm honestly too young to be shallow.  She said that with time the things I wanted would be different, "see now you want a buff guy with an eight pack but when you're older you'll want a guy with a nice 401 k".  She has made it her life's mission to set me up with someone. But when I do judge people I really do feel bad sometimes. Looks can be deceiving just because someone looks like a 10 does not make them a good person at all.  Their personality is also a factor.  

I have another question for you. Do you ever just feel like everyone around you is in a relationship but you are the only single one? That's probably not true but hey it happens. Also we've discovered that I can't tell the difference between flirting and just talking to someone. When you don't have experience in that area it all sounds the same. I'm such a dork it's ridiculous. Now when it comes to crushes I like to shoot for the stars. I'll have a crush on someone I know I'll never have a chance with and that's just  how I like it.  It's strange and maybe it makes me shallow but it's just how I currently see things.

If you used to know me you need to know this now. I am way more confident than I was before. I've done things in the past few weeks that have even surprised myself. Before if you would have walked past me I would have just ignored you but now I say hello. I'm not afraid to talk and I'm not afraid to be myself. Confidence is key and I'm not tolerating mediocrity and or bull. Funny, it's like a lot of my post are about relationships and I know nothing about them.

Hopefully my next post will make much more sense.

xoxo
Mercedes. 

Something about feelings.

When someone makes you the happiest person and the saddest person at the same time, that's when it's real. That's when it’s worth something.
— Chuck Bass (@ltsChuck) May 7, 2014

Have you ever met someone and it's like all of a sudden nothing else matters? Like those moments your with them just feel so fantastic that all the bad things in your world just disappear. I picked the tweet above to share because hey, it's Chuck Bass and because it just feels incredibly true. In life I feel like things that are the most worth it are the things that are challenging and difficult. Like right now writing this blog post is challenging because I have a bunch of things on my mind that I want to say but the backspace button seems to be getting a workout. But who knows this post might actually be worth it.

I hate watching movies where  a character ends up with a happy ending even though they didn't really deserve it. Like no where in the storyline do they even attempt to try and in the end they turn out to be the hero or they have a passionate kiss with the so called love of their life. To me that's boring! Where's the excitement, the drama, the tear jerking moments that  actually mean something?I honestly like movies that make me cry because that means I had to have felt something. In the end I think everyone just wants to feel something. Even if that something is pain.

Recently I did meet someone who may have changed my life a little bit, maybe more than that. Not only did they help me learn more about myself but they also made me feel really happy. But what really got me is the fact that I don't think this person really realized how truly amazing they are. I'm not huge on talking but when I do talk it's with someone that I like. But when I'm not talking, I'm observing because I like to watch the little things that people do. Sometimes cute little things people do naturally are the things that make them stand out the most. When people point out your flaws or say negative things about you, it's easy to get stuck those ideas. To think that no one would ever really get to see the real you because all they can see are those negative things. I feel like when someone makes you happy those "flaws" don't matter they just make that person ten times better. With me I have the hardest time showing affection and or sharing my feeling because I'm so afraid that when people discover the real me, they'll realize I'm bad for them. So I've spent a lot of my time pushing people that I actually like away, or I just don't let them in.I But that's my fault and I want to change it. If I keep hiding behind this fear that no one will ever like me if they get to know me, no one is ever going to like me because I won't let them. I just want people to be happy, thats ll that matters to me.

Maybe that's why I don't like movies with a happy ending, because I 'm afraid I'll never get one of my own.

Hey It's me again!!!

 Life happens...

Well it's a new year seeing as the last time I blogged it was 2013, and now January is close to being over and I realized that I really miss blogging. Not that anything I ever had to say was that interesting , it was just fun to let it all out. This isn't a book I'm writing that has a certain plot or some article for journalism that has to be school appropriate, this it just me expressing what I have to say.It so often surprises me that sometimes people can even relate to it. Now I'm not going to make it my New Year's resolution to blog more, because let's face it, I'd probably ignore it anyway. Whenever I  feel inspired and not half asleep though, I'll blog.

Hopefully my writing flows a  little easier and you're not just reading a bunch of my jumbled up thoughts, because my thoughts get a little too crazy and confusing. What you don't understand is that, there are so many things that I want to say, some of them I'm just afraid to. I don't want to limit myself but then I don't want to share too much.

What would you do if......

Someone asked me what I would do if the person in front of me bought the last 3 musketeers bar from the vending machine. The answer is simple, I would push them down grab it and run away triumphantly. Okay, so maybe I really wouldn't do that but it sounds good.  If you're wondering whats so great about this candy bar, it's my absolute favorite.  In the past couple of weeks it's honestly been my lunch everyday and if you don't believe me, I have witnesses. Obviously it's not the healthiest choice, but it's mine. If a guy brought me a 3 musketeers bar for no reason, I would be the happiest person in the world, but that's never going to happen so...

There are certain  ways I would react to different situations and just remember Karma is a bitch. If you don't believe that, ask me how I spilled water all over myself. That is why I wouldn't push someone down unless they were trying to beat me up because I don't want to get jumped at some later point in my life. So What would I do if.....

1. Marvin doesn't win America's Next Top Model Cycle 20?I would probably cry and talk about how much I hate the show and how the fact that he didn't win was stupid.  I would also most likely eat myself into a food coma.

Well Marvin didn't win and I didn't cry. I've just been in shock and you know at least he was happy when he lost. I still can't believe it, a guy honestly should have won and it should have been him. Why can't people see the same talent I see? I was team Starvin Marvin from the beginning, everyone talked about how he wouldn't make it. Well that kid made it to the finale, the final two and he did an amazing job. Jourdan was a great model, I just hated her the whole time. Maybe that's how she won she took all the dislike and having little to no support and turned it into great photographs. I'm really just upset though, not saying she didn't deserve it. I just hated hearing her sob story every step of the way. But she won and she's America's Next top Model and I'm still in  high school dreaming about  being a model, which isn't happening. This is just the first time in a while where I actually got involved with a show and now I'm disappointed.

2. When a character in a book/ show you like chooses the wrong guy?  I would get pissed and stop watching the show for awhile.

3. If some guy I know threw his water bottle at me?  Well this happened, and I ended up spilling water all over my pants. Wasn't really mad because I saw it coming since I started it. So I basically just walked around looking like I wet my pants. Sad, right?



4. If someone told me they wanted to commit suicide?  I would just listen and do my best to help them out. Sometimes all people need is somebody to listen to them. I wouldn't keep it to myself though, I'd tell someone who could potentially help them. I try to avoid any and all situations like this because I just can't deal with it.

5. If a guy I like asked me out? Honestly I would laugh. Only because I can never picture that happening and I'd probably think it was a prank. If they were being serious though, I would have to say yes.


6. If the person in front of me bought the last 3 musketeers bar from the vending machine?

..... All Hell would break loose. 


Life, things get real, sometimes.

Why am I so lame?

Fears and Insecurities

What's your biggest fear, is it knowing that people might actually see the real you? How many times have you gone back inside you house to change an outfit or a hairstyle because you felt like it wasn't good enough?  Once? Twice? How many times have you done something different just to impress someone and they still didn't notice a thing?

Let's start with a word:

Insecure:

1.

(of a person) not confident or assured; uncertain and anxious.

So let's say being insecure is natural because hey, nobody's perfect but people still strive to be perfect.  Sometimes for themselves and sometimes for someone else. You see I would have never really thought to write something about insecurities because I wouldn't want people looking for all of mine. But one of my friends told me I should talk about them. It's funny because out of all the people I know she would never strike me as someone who is insecure. If fact, after many hilarious conversations I wish I could have recorded, she definitely is not. 

Here is a fun little question, How many times have you taken like fifty pictures of yourself and then decided they weren't good enough because of this or that? Think about it, I can randomly delete all the photos on my phone and not worry about, because they were all selfies no one was ever going to see. It's not the fact that I enjoy taking pictures of myself, okay the stupid ones yeah, I can just never take the perfect picture. There are people who post pictures just so they can have attention brought to themselves, and I give them props because I couldn't do it.

One thing that used to piss me so much, was listening to girls complain and complain about their weight. Most of them weren't even close to fat, so I basically decided they were conceited, stuck up brats who only cared about the way they looked. But they weren't, they were just insecure because they felt their weight was a flaw that people would judge them about.  Think about the movie Mean Girls, and if you say you've never watched it before, please let me punch you in the face. Anyways The Plastics were all just  insecure mean girls who wanted everyone to believe that they were perfect. Regina was concerned with her weight so that made it easy for Cady to manipulate her. Cady was insecure about her intelligence so she started acting stupid to get Aaron to tutor her, only to find out later that he liked her better when she was herself. Gretchen just felt like she had to be apart of something so she did end up joining the "cool asians." Even the the movie was very sexual, funny, and filled with backstabbing it did teach a really good lesson. I mean on Wednesdays we wear pink, some people just want to be apart of something.

It's really easy to feel insecure, I said in another post before, that when people stare at me I just think about every flaw they could be seeing. Maybe it's because I can't read minds, but I sure as hell would love to know why people stare at me. Insecurities kind of go hand in hand with fears, because most of the time you're afraid that people will find out the things that make you insecure.

But honestly everyone is beautiful.

Love Triangles

You know sometimes there is this thing authors and writers like to make to, spice the stories up. It's my absolute favorite thing to be able to say "PLOT TWIST," but sometimes there make me angry. Most of the plot twist I have come to know are those little love triangles. Who doesn't love a little drama?
Seriously in many of the books I read, shows I watch,  movies that are pretty hot and even in real life love triangles are pretty much everywhere. Those Twilight fans who were all "team Edward" and " Team Jacob" and I'm just team can you not.  I'm not going to lie when I first read Twilight I was into it, into it enough to throw my book against the wall. But I was never really for a character. Of course when the movies came out people were going to pick the hotter guy, or the character they loved the most. Even in The Hunger Games people picked a team. Of course in the end Katniss picked the right guy and I was happy. It sucks when a character picks the wrong guy, or girl. It makes you so angry because it's like everything you hoped and wished for, fell through the cracks. Everyone was so mad when Katniss didn't pick Gale and I was all happy and giggling to myself, like that's right snitches I won this time. Granted I'm really weird so I actually did do that.

Did you ever watch the show THE NINE LIVES OF CHLOE KING, you know that ABC family show that got canceled after the first season? If so you already know that love triangle. I was so pissed when it got cancelled too. I finally had the time to read that released script of the never made movie. Talk about closure. I was finally able to smile and I was inspired to write like a movie/ television script. Of course I still want to write books but that script looked so simple. And guess what Chloe picked the right guy. If you have any idea of what I'm talking about check out the link: :The Nine Lives of Chloe King final script , if not carry on.  I won't say who she picks though you have to read it.

The one love triangle thing I currently hate is the one from The Vampire Diaries. Elena fell in love with the wrong guy. I'm one of those people that really liked Stefan and thought he was the perfect guy. I know people  who are like that with Damon. But I currently think Elena is stupid and on drugs, that's probably a mean thing to say but yeah, my current thoughts. But another CW show, Reign has a beautiful love triangle. Like this show is going to be all drama and it makes history and I quote "sexy". Mary has to do a lot for her country but will her heart get in the way? I mean both of the guys in her life are pretty attractive but which would you choose or even consider being with?

It's all a matter of perspective i guess. Besides the love triangle isn't officially going, things are just you know alluded to. It's funny because there are a lot more shows too that teens are into that have theses triangles. Like Teen Wolf, and Awkward, heck even Glee had them.

As for real life love triangles, there are probably millions. I could talk about people that I know and their relationships or the people that I like, but it doesn't really matter. Those who need to know, know.

Are you looking at me?

Do you ever just find yourself in  a situation where everyone is staring at you? Like why on earth would they be staring? Whenever someone stares at me I think of every possible thing in my head that they could possibly be staring at and freak out. I hate feeling like people are judging me, I know they do but I don't really want to feel them judging me. They say when you stare at a monkey, it goes crazy. I think I'm the monkey in this situation. I read once that in France people stare at other people openly to admire their beauty and it isn't considered creepy or rude. But I don't care who you are if you stare at me, I'm usually sending death threats in my head.

Imagine this: you see your crush and of course they look cute as always. You're just admiring the way they look, because anybody you have a crush on has got to be hot... Not realizing you're practically drooling, not cute by the way, when your crush turns and catches you staring. I'm going to tell you now that there are different types of staring and unless you want it to be super obvious that you like this person you better be discreet.  I mean there is  a difference between staring at a guy friend and staring at a guy you want to date.

I really should apologize in advance for the staring that I do, because I stare a lot.... Even if I'm not actually staring at you, it happens. I'll go from staring at an attractive guy, to staring at someone's shoe, to staring at my friends hair, to staring at someone's shirt. I even stare at the ceiling which confuses many people but I guess I find the answers to everything up there. But I always, always look at someone when they are talking to me or I'm talking to them. If I can look you in the eye you can do the same.

I absolutely cannot stand when people wear their freaking sunglasses inside a building. Like is that really necessary? Does it make you feel cool or something? I used to think it was stupid when teachers told students to take them off inside the classroom, well now I understand why. If you wear sunglasses inside there's about a strong chance I'm judging you. I could tolerate a medical condition, and maybe a couple times where you just "forgot" to take them off. But if you do it consistently, it's ridiculous. I can't tell if you're staring at me or the poster behind me, and then I'm just not sure whether to acknowledge you or ignore you without being rude. Does looking at someone while wearing sunglasses inside make you feel powsrful or something. Because it just pisses me off.

I just love it when a teacher stares at you expecting you to know the answer, hey I can stare back so this might last a while.  Do you ever just feel like staring contests can definitely be in your favor? I suck at them but against the right people they work for me. But hey if a guy has really gorgeous eyes, I have no problem staring back, unless they are like way to intense that it's scary. Those moments when you accidentally glance up, making eye contact with someone you don't like, I hate those.

Sorry about my random little rant, I hope you enjoyed it.

Sex & Violence

Maybe I have captured your attention with that title. But fear not this isn't some racy discussion about the topics of sex and bad things about it or how sex leads to violence or that if you have sex you will die. Sorry that's a run on sentence and a little bit of a mean girls reference, but seriously I read a book and that was its title....

What?!! I read a book? I know, it's crazy and sadly it's actually been awhile since I posted something I could call a decent book "review" or you know recommendation.  So I hope you guys appreciate this one, because this book was different for me.

Now the book is called, Sex & Violence, by Carrie Mesrobian. What threw me off though was the fact that the story was well written and in a guy's point of view and not many people can pull off the opposite sex view with out it being too biased but Mesrobian pulled it off. I have read some pretty disturbed books that were in a guy's point of view, and some times they switch. It was harder to tell which characters were more into sex than the other because both view points were pretty bad.

So anyways the story is about a teenage boy named Evan Carter and how he was used to being the "Freaking new guy" and basically had the ability to charm his way into most girls pants since he never really stayed in one place for so long. Well his actions kind of get back at him, let's just say that karma kicked his ass, and his actions also bring harm unto a girl he get's involved with. After experiencing Karma, Evan's dad moves them to a safer more permanent location where he can recover and learn more about himself. Not many guys can admit that they are assholes or slutty whores but Evan admits it right off the back and from the beginning of the story you watch him grow and change as a person. That sounds kind of corny and he isn't some butterfly experiment but his experiences are kind of thought provoking.  In this book about a summer of last chances and recovering there is a lot to be loved.

I love this quote alluding to Evan's father:

"He treated stuff like that how I'd imagine a father would treat his daughter's mentstrual cycle-with caution and distance." 

I think anybody could read this book, it's a little sensitive but it isn't a bad read so check it out. 

The Kissing booth...

        Reputations, rumors, fights, romance, high school, and a first kiss.For some people the have their first kiss in like elementary school and it's no big deal because boys and girls have cooties and it wasn't serious anyways. For others it's that first relationship in junior high where both the boy and the girl are shy and it's going to suck no matter what because it's just awkward and neither of you know what you are doing. Or maybe that's just what I've read in books but then again, they were talking about sex so... Sorry if that doesn't apply to your experiences. It's sometimes very rare to come across someone in HIGH SCHOOL who hasn't had their first kiss yet. If their friends are jerks they probably get made fun of, " what you've never kissed anyone?", "my god you need to get laid", and "you are missing out", sure none of that's demeaning or depressing but it gets annoying. Talking from experience by the way, because I'm just lame like that.

      So what do you do when you haven't had your first kiss and one of your friends need you to fill their spot in a kissing booth? You read the book "The Kissing Booth", by Beth Reekles to find out. I'm kind of kidding but seriously you should read the book. It's got an awesome love triangle in it too. For the main character it's all about choosing the right guy and sometimes choosing between your best friend and a guy that makes you feel even more special than your friend does is hard. All the drama, it all starts from one kiss. Well the feelings were there before the kiss but yeah, the kiss started it all. I think I laughed through a lot of this book because it was funny and exciting and totally awkward all at the same time. My mom often asks me what book I'm reading so that she can 'bond' and 'talk about it' with me, but I read the strangest books and she reads to slow so that doesn't really work out. This book was really good and I would recommend it to anyone and it was written by a seventeen year old girl so props to her. But imagine watching some awkward sex scene on Vampire Diaries or The Secret life and having your grandma walk in. It's just very uncomfortable.

     So yeah, read the book because  you'll enjoy it.

OMG

You know what? I just feel like being really random and really weird because it just seems like I have nothing better to do obviously. :( Yesterday was "ManCrushMonday" or  "ManCandyMonday", basically every female in the online world tweet about their crushes, and favorite guy celebs. Basically if you ever hear of the term "thirsty", then you already know when it comes to Monday's, the thirst is real. Tweeting about these crushes just creates a less awkward way for someone to tell someone they like them without being weird. Sometimes it's just friends messing around with each other and it just sets a lighthearted atmosphere. Hey, I'll even admit to it, Monday's even I'm tweeting about man crushes. I'll probably never understand why "WhiteGirlWednesday" is so popular, but you know what ever floats your boat.

Yesterday was just different because I was just tweeting like I seriously had nothing better to do, like it was ridiculous. There are some people who practically live on Twitter but they make it work. I on the other hand, should not be allowed on twitter some days unless I'm live tweeting about falling to my sudden death. But even then my death should be sudden and if it's not I should be more focused on surviving rather than tweeting. There have been moments when I just feel like that sudden creative burst and then twitter comes up on my screen and I just go at it. Obviously whenever that happens in the future I should finish writing my book, rather than tweeting about the kid in my fifth period class. Not that I do that, more like the kid in my first.

Sometimes I love being apart of social media, even though it's not always the best you can seriously be introduced to some of the coolest things. Like who doesn't love those hilarious vine fails that get put on Facebook all the time. Seriously the only reason I go on there.  I love those days where I can just talk about anything, which just really is me talking about nothing... It's fun.

On a random note I could really use some of these...

The Power of lace underwear.

      I know it's a strange way to start writing a blog post, maybe kind of awkward actually, but my sister may have inspired me on this one. Now I must admit,this post will most likely be very irrelevant  but I still hope you enjoy it.

       Now recently my sister made a comment about lingerie and lace underwear, who needs it? Obviously undergarments are pretty much viewed as a necessity and if not found wearing any you can be viewed as trashy, low class, or you know a slut. But if you do wear underwear that is 99% lace you can pretty much be called trashy too, but who's really seeing your underwear? In elementary school it's like no one talks about the color of your underwear. There might be that select group of kids but in general not so much. Junior high is like that self conscious stage where changing in the locker room you think everyone is judging you. Obviously this is just my point of view and I have no idea how guys spend their times in the locker room but I don't think they are comparing each others boxer's size. High school it's like no one even cares. Girls have no problem flaunting what they got because it's what they got, but you know who really cares.
   
   In many of the books I've read, lace underwear has been a good thing and a bad thing. In Shut out, by Kody Keplinger, girls were using the lingerie to seduce guys and then leave them hanging, so you can consider that playing dirty. Most of the guys weren't happy about being played. In Breaking Dawn, by Stephanie Meyers, the lingerie can represent something new and intimate between Robert and Bella. One Meg Cabot book I read was always cracking jokes at the Victoria's Secret, crotchless underwear, but someone has to wear them otherwise they wouldn't be such a big company. But with a name like that you can probably still feel sexy without having to show off your undergarments. It can be your own little secret.
     
     This post may lack any relevance to a story, it kind of has it's own little thing going.