Looks can be deceiving ....

Often enough we judge people, places and things by the way they look. If this doesn't apply to you well then good for you. But if this idea does apply to you do you ever just wonder if people judge you the same way and it bothers you because unless you're a mind reader how are you supposed to know what that person is thinking?

One of my coworkers laughs at me all the time and she literally thinks it's adorable how I have all these thoughts and beliefs about people. She told me to give it a few years and the thought would go away. Today she was joking with me and said I was shallow but she later said that I'm honestly too young to be shallow.  She said that with time the things I wanted would be different, "see now you want a buff guy with an eight pack but when you're older you'll want a guy with a nice 401 k".  She has made it her life's mission to set me up with someone. But when I do judge people I really do feel bad sometimes. Looks can be deceiving just because someone looks like a 10 does not make them a good person at all.  Their personality is also a factor.  

I have another question for you. Do you ever just feel like everyone around you is in a relationship but you are the only single one? That's probably not true but hey it happens. Also we've discovered that I can't tell the difference between flirting and just talking to someone. When you don't have experience in that area it all sounds the same. I'm such a dork it's ridiculous. Now when it comes to crushes I like to shoot for the stars. I'll have a crush on someone I know I'll never have a chance with and that's just  how I like it.  It's strange and maybe it makes me shallow but it's just how I currently see things.

If you used to know me you need to know this now. I am way more confident than I was before. I've done things in the past few weeks that have even surprised myself. Before if you would have walked past me I would have just ignored you but now I say hello. I'm not afraid to talk and I'm not afraid to be myself. Confidence is key and I'm not tolerating mediocrity and or bull. Funny, it's like a lot of my post are about relationships and I know nothing about them.

Hopefully my next post will make much more sense.

xoxo
Mercedes. 

New music, fandoms and hot boys...

It seems that everywhere I look there are new bands and people just trying to make their mark on the world. People taking risks to just follow their dreams no matter what. It's all about believing in yourself. Sometimes it feels like I end up getting into new groups when they are well established and others sometimes I'll find them when they are new. I hate feeling like a fan who just jumps on a bandwagon and follows where the most famous people go. But when music or people are just so amazing you just want to follow them. It's crazy being 18 and then seeing other people close yo my age you are so successful. 

I previously said I was going to talk about The Janoskians and I will, and I'll also talk about Brandyn Burnette. I honestly think when it comes to famous people you just kind of wonder what it would be like to know them and not because they can share their fame with you but because they were normal once too. Everyone has a cool personal story and you just kind of want to know it. But it's personal and if they choose to share that's cool too.  But it's probably hard not knowing everyone's motives.  In fact I do believe one of the members of The Janoskians tweeted something like that not too long ago :

Not knowing what people's intentions are is the worst
— James Yammouni (@James_Yammouni) July 16, 2014

 It's crazy how that group is just a crazy bunch of friends doing what they love and having a good time. I would love to have a friendship like that where no matter what you don't have to stress and you can just have fun. Because life should be fun and friendship shouldn't be stressful. 

What I'm listening to:

 If you check out my 'what I'm listening to' sidebar you'll see it's been updated recently. I have my two favorite some from The Janoskians, Best friends & Real Girls Eat Cake. Two fun single that just kind of keep you pumped up. They are a couple songs that keep me motivated on a run. Black Widow by Iggy Azalea is also on my playlist as well. I also have a new Imagine Dragon's song, Battle cry, which is from the new Transformer's movie. But there's also this really awesome song by Brandyn Burnette called, Thanks for nothing. Seriously if you haven't heard it click the Spotify play button and listen to it. It's awesome and upbeat and it just reminds you that life doesn't have to be stressful. If you like it it's on Itunes:  click here, just saying.

Social media is a pretty cool thing because it helps you get an idea of who people are and Brandyn seems like a pretty awesome person and his music rocks. It's pretty cool knowing that with all those followers he still tries to make an effort to respond to all the tweets. If you don't believe me follow him yourself.

#ThanksForNothing is so much fun to play live. I love watching people's faces in the crowd when the chorus drops! 😱😂 http://t.co/g3KiU5qiqf
— Brandyn Burnette (@brandynburnette) July 16, 2014

I probably have way more to say but I'm going to stop for now before I sound too much of a fangirl.
Well have fun check out the music and enjoy life more to come
xoxo,
Mercedes

Say something I'm giving up on you...

Every time I come to blog, I tell my self I'll have a cool title this time something people want to read. But I seriously just end up laughing at my stupidity and settle for something lame. That happens with like 99.9% of my tweets. The ones that end up on twitter are like my edited PG thoughts because I don't know what people would say if they heard my real ones. Alright I'll be honest the things I don't share aren't bad, they're just really honest and would probably be considered really good subtweets. I pretty much type something up , laugh at it and then erase it and move on with my life. I really just need someone to share my thoughts with because many of them are really good.

Like I just wrote a paragraph and then deleted it because it felt so weird for people to read. Do you ever send a text message to someone and the feel completely vulnerable because you don't know how they are going to judge it? Like that one message can redefine your whole relationship with that person? you know it happens with friendships too. That's how you know whether or not someone can be a real friend. People are going to judge you and not understand the choices you make, but a few of them will be sure to stand by you when you make them.

Sometimes I'm not even sure I I'm thinking so hard about life. Maybe it's the songs hear on my playlist or something but they inspire me. They make me think about who I am and the person I'm becoming. Most of the songs I hear are easy to relate to even though I haven't been in a relationship or got dumped. But you know what they still play with your heart anyways. When the song "Let Her Go" by Passenger comes on you stop what you're doing and sing. I really love when I'm with people I like when my favorite song comes on because I'm not afraid to sing. In fact I will sing especially if they are willing to sing with me. The best part is I can't sing so it's very entertaining. 

I think at one point there was a point to this post but it got lost in the music, sorry... xoxo

Mind reading.

One of my absolute favorite songs is, Hear me, by Imagine Dragons. It's funny because it's like my song, I find it very easy to relate to. Do you want to know why?That's simple, I just want people to hear me. No I want people to listen.The other song is called  Show me love, by The Wanted, it's a sad but inspirational song that really just makes me happy.

I'm no mind reader, I have no clue if people actually like the things I have to say or actually care to listen. Then when it seems like someone finally listens, it's like they are just judging me inside their little minds. Like can you not. I hate having to explain myself and I love the people who get me. I start about five different blog posts and delete most of them, and when I finally come up with a good idea, I'm just like nobody is going to read this because I wrote it. I blog about a lot of my personal experiences and the people I'm around, if you're close to me chances are I blogged about you. Don't worry if I like you it's usually funny, nice things. But  I will say I do feel bad for the friends I stopped talking to, the one's I cut off. I didn't exactly mean to, but I did and I had my reason's sadly.But the thing is, when I miss someone, I talk to them. I at least acknowledge them, just wanting them to know I do think about them.

I watched this move called Stuck in Love, and it was a depressing, happy, amazing movie that just kind of moved me. Lily Collins played a cynical romance hating nineteen year old and Logan Lerman played the sweet guy who just wanted to get to know her. She basically told the guys in the movie she would have sex with them because she knew they wanted to do it and she wanted to do it so it would be easy. Obviously she could read minds. Basically the moral of the story was that, the time makes the heart grow fonder.

I feel like this is about to get personal really fast so... Sorry. 

I needed distance, I'm pretty sure at one point everyone feels like they can't deal with something anymore, they're so over it. Isn't that why break ups happen? I doubt every guy a girl dates is  a cheating man whore. Just like I doubt that every girl the a guy goes out with is going to leave them for that guy's older/younger brother. No pretty sure decent people do exist. So I needed to seperate myself from the people who were causing me the most pain. They never hurt me or did me wrong, I just want to move on. It was like that much needed long run where as you're running, nothing  else matters. It's like being in a free world where it's ok if you look stupid while your jumping on your trampoline because no one is here to judge you. Now I'm no gymnast, but I was tired of doing flips for people who wouldn't do the same for me. I can't confide in someone who can't keep a secret and I can't comfort someone who won't take it. One time I told someone I'd never had my first kiss before and they just told me all my flaws and that I was pathetic. You know whats scary? I'm afraid that I almost believed them.

One of the reasons I love texting so much is because, I actually have time to think things through with out feeling rushed. There are moments when I'm just like, I could have said this or that, but really no need to over think a text message. Sure if my crush texted me I'd probably be a little excited-oh wait- he doesn't have my number. Because, well that would just make me happy.

"I got a thousand friends that follow me/
Just to read about my misery"

I don't want people to listen or talk to me because they think I'm miserable and need comforting. No that is not me. I'm a happy person who's just going through life,I've just come to not deal with certain things anymore. I'm a  teenage girl who just wishes people would understand the way I think about things.I like it when people talk to me because they want to.

But right now I'm just counting stars....