The Future...

So plain and simple: The future is scary. I'd like to say otherwise and be all wide eyed and optimistic but I can't because it scares me. Anything can happen and nothing is guaranteed and honestly you just don't know what you're going to get.  People say that they can't wait until the future for things to happen, but the future is now and things don't just happen, you have to make them happen.

You can't just live life scared to go outside your bubble because you it's not guaranteed that you'll stay safe. On the other hand living impulse by impulse might just leave you sixteen and pregnant or I don’t know dead. Where's the happy medium? It's so sad when that person who has worked their butt off their whole life and then when they decide to have a little fun something bad happens. It's even more frustrating when that person who has done every impulsive act imaginable, nothing bad ever happens to them. It's like there are rules and exceptions to those rules and then you're just left wondering where you fit in to it all. Life I tell you is just a complicated thing, and it really hasn't even started yet.

Every birthday since I turned thirteen I want to say my parents have told me that I'm one year closer to being tried as an adult. I know that sounds really depressing and also looks like they think the worst of me but honestly, they were being realistic. It only takes one stupid mistake nowadays to get yourself in trouble and you have to be aware of what you’re doing. Like when you get your driver's license it's the most exciting thing in the world, no more waiting for your parents to pick you up. But every time you get behind the wheel you have to know that you could be putting other people in harm’s way if you don't pay attention. It's so stressful knowing that something that can be so fun can be dangerous as well. Sometimes I wish my future self would send me text messages of what not to do because I really don't want to mess up. Like you never know when that important English essay you have is just going to delete itself the night before it's due.

Whenever I think about the future, I think about the show One Tree Hill. It has nine seasons and with every season you just never know what’s going to happen.  My favorite characters from that show are Nathan Scott and Haley; they’re this couple that goes through so many different hardships that you just don’t think will make it in the end. Watching the show makes you realize there is no age limit you have to be to fall in love or become successful, you can get all that by going after what you want. I watch these characters grow and become better versions of themselves and I just wish that I can do the same. The point is, you never know what's going to happen, whether it’s falling in love and getting married at seventeen or being your own boss by the age of twenty two, anything can happen.

Sometimes I just wonder how my grandparents made it this far in life because it just seems like so much. But you know I might be scared but I'm also not afraid of going through life. I know that things are going to happen and many of them might suck, but there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Say something I'm giving up on you...

Every time I come to blog, I tell my self I'll have a cool title this time something people want to read. But I seriously just end up laughing at my stupidity and settle for something lame. That happens with like 99.9% of my tweets. The ones that end up on twitter are like my edited PG thoughts because I don't know what people would say if they heard my real ones. Alright I'll be honest the things I don't share aren't bad, they're just really honest and would probably be considered really good subtweets. I pretty much type something up , laugh at it and then erase it and move on with my life. I really just need someone to share my thoughts with because many of them are really good.

Like I just wrote a paragraph and then deleted it because it felt so weird for people to read. Do you ever send a text message to someone and the feel completely vulnerable because you don't know how they are going to judge it? Like that one message can redefine your whole relationship with that person? you know it happens with friendships too. That's how you know whether or not someone can be a real friend. People are going to judge you and not understand the choices you make, but a few of them will be sure to stand by you when you make them.

Sometimes I'm not even sure I I'm thinking so hard about life. Maybe it's the songs hear on my playlist or something but they inspire me. They make me think about who I am and the person I'm becoming. Most of the songs I hear are easy to relate to even though I haven't been in a relationship or got dumped. But you know what they still play with your heart anyways. When the song "Let Her Go" by Passenger comes on you stop what you're doing and sing. I really love when I'm with people I like when my favorite song comes on because I'm not afraid to sing. In fact I will sing especially if they are willing to sing with me. The best part is I can't sing so it's very entertaining. 

I think at one point there was a point to this post but it got lost in the music, sorry... xoxo