Not too long ago I wrote an article about the future:
The Future
So plain and simple: The future is scary. I'd like to say
otherwise and be all wide eyed and optimistic but I can't because it scares me.
Anything can happen and nothing is guaranteed and honestly you just don't know
what you're going to get.People say
that they can't wait until the future for things to happen, but the future is
now and things don't just happen, you have to make them happen....(for the rest click here)
But today is the present, the future is tomorrow and yesterday is the past. This is your life and it's crazy how fast time flies sometimes. So here's some things that happened in the recent past.
Prom- There was dancing, cute dresses, a chocolate fountain and good music. Also not to mention all the profile pictures that changed because everyone just looked so awesome.
Grad Bash- Fun times in a theme park with your graduating class, definitely a fun time
Graduation- From high school of course. The class of 2014 did it and I am delighted to say I was one of them. It's crazy to think that four years just went by and pretty soon another four years will go by and that's college. I hope to make the most of it. It's sad knowing that I didn't know half the people in my senior class. Like congrats but I don't know you. But it was seriously just time to be done with high school, no surprises there. It might be a pretty cliche thing to say but, this is literally just the beginning. Our lives don't end with high school, there are so many great things ahead.
I think that in life we are given some great opportunities and we just need to take them. This isn't a long post so sorry for that but there will be more soon. It's summer, I've got time.
Someone asked me what I would do if the person in front of me bought the last 3 musketeers bar from the vending machine. The answer is simple, I would push them down grab it and run away triumphantly. Okay, so maybe I really wouldn't do that but it sounds good. If you're wondering whats so great about this candy bar, it's my absolute favorite. In the past couple of weeks it's honestly been my lunch everyday and if you don't believe me, I have witnesses. Obviously it's not the healthiest choice, but it's mine. If a guy brought me a 3 musketeers bar for no reason, I would be the happiest person in the world, but that's never going to happen so...
There are certain ways I would react to different situations and just remember Karma is a bitch. If you don't believe that, ask me how I spilled water all over myself. That is why I wouldn't push someone down unless they were trying to beat me up because I don't want to get jumped at some later point in my life. So What would I do if.....
1. Marvin doesn't win America's Next Top Model Cycle 20?I would probably cry and talk about how much I hate the show and how the fact that he didn't win was stupid. I would also most likely eat myself into a food coma.
Well Marvin didn't win and I didn't cry. I've just been in shock and you know at least he was happy when he lost. I still can't believe it, a guy honestly should have won and it should have been him. Why can't people see the same talent I see? I was team Starvin Marvin from the beginning, everyone talked about how he wouldn't make it. Well that kid made it to the finale, the final two and he did an amazing job. Jourdan was a great model, I just hated her the whole time. Maybe that's how she won she took all the dislike and having little to no support and turned it into great photographs. I'm really just upset though, not saying she didn't deserve it. I just hated hearing her sob story every step of the way. But she won and she's America's Next top Model and I'm still in high school dreaming about being a model, which isn't happening. This is just the first time in a while where I actually got involved with a show and now I'm disappointed.
2. When a character in a book/ show you like chooses the wrong guy? I would get pissed and stop watching the show for awhile.
3. If some guy I know threw his water bottle at me? Well this happened, and I ended up spilling water all over my pants. Wasn't really mad because I saw it coming since I started it. So I basically just walked around looking like I wet my pants. Sad, right?
4. If someone told me they wanted to commit suicide? I would just listen and do my best to help them out. Sometimes all people need is somebody to listen to them. I wouldn't keep it to myself though, I'd tell someone who could potentially help them. I try to avoid any and all situations like this because I just can't deal with it.
5. If a guy I like asked me out? Honestly I would laugh. Only because I can never picture that happening and I'd probably think it was a prank. If they were being serious though, I would have to say yes.
6. If the person in front of me bought the last 3 musketeers bar from the vending machine?
..... All Hell would break loose.
Life, things get real, sometimes.
One of my absolute favorite songs is, Hear me, by Imagine Dragons. It's funny because it's like my song, I find it very easy to relate to. Do you want to know why?That's simple, I just want people to hear me. No I want people to listen.The other song is called Show me love, by The Wanted, it's a sad but inspirational song that really just makes me happy.
I'm no mind reader, I have no clue if people actually like the things I have to say or actually care to listen. Then when it seems like someone finally listens, it's like they are just judging me inside their little minds. Like can you not. I hate having to explain myself and I love the people who get me. I start about five different blog posts and delete most of them, and when I finally come up with a good idea, I'm just like nobody is going to read this because I wrote it. I blog about a lot of my personal experiences and the people I'm around, if you're close to me chances are I blogged about you. Don't worry if I like you it's usually funny, nice things. But I will say I do feel bad for the friends I stopped talking to, the one's I cut off. I didn't exactly mean to, but I did and I had my reason's sadly.But the thing is, when I miss someone, I talk to them. I at least acknowledge them, just wanting them to know I do think about them.
I watched this move called Stuck in Love, and it was a depressing, happy, amazing movie that just kind of moved me. Lily Collins played a cynical romance hating nineteen year old and Logan Lerman played the sweet guy who just wanted to get to know her. She basically told the guys in the movie she would have sex with them because she knew they wanted to do it and she wanted to do it so it would be easy. Obviously she could read minds. Basically the moral of the story was that, the time makes the heart grow fonder.
I feel like this is about to get personal really fast so... Sorry.
I needed distance, I'm pretty sure at one point everyone feels like they can't deal with something anymore, they're so over it. Isn't that why break ups happen? I doubt every guy a girl dates is a cheating man whore. Just like I doubt that every girl the a guy goes out with is going to leave them for that guy's older/younger brother. No pretty sure decent people do exist. So I needed to seperate myself from the people who were causing me the most pain. They never hurt me or did me wrong, I just want to move on. It was like that much needed long run where as you're running, nothing else matters. It's like being in a free world where it's ok if you look stupid while your jumping on your trampoline because no one is here to judge you. Now I'm no gymnast, but I was tired of doing flips for people who wouldn't do the same for me. I can't confide in someone who can't keep a secret and I can't comfort someone who won't take it. One time I told someone I'd never had my first kiss before and they just told me all my flaws and that I was pathetic. You know whats scary? I'm afraid that I almost believed them.
One of the reasons I love texting so much is because, I actually have time to think things through with out feeling rushed. There are moments when I'm just like, I could have said this or that, but really no need to over think a text message. Sure if my crush texted me I'd probably be a little excited-oh wait- he doesn't have my number. Because, well that would just make me happy.
"I got a thousand friends that follow me/
Just to read about my misery"
I don't want people to listen or talk to me because they think I'm miserable and need comforting. No that is not me. I'm a happy person who's just going through life,I've just come to not deal with certain things anymore. I'm a teenage girl who just wishes people would understand the way I think about things.I like it when people talk to me because they want to.
What's your biggest fear, is it knowing that people might actually see the real you? How many times have you gone back inside you house to change an outfit or a hairstyle because you felt like it wasn't good enough? Once? Twice? How many times have you done something different just to impress someone and they still didn't notice a thing?
Let's start with a word:
Insecure:
1.
(of a person) not confident or assured; uncertain and anxious.
So let's say being insecure is natural because hey, nobody's perfect but people still strive to be perfect. Sometimes for themselves and sometimes for someone else. You see I would have never really thought to write something about insecurities because I wouldn't want people looking for all of mine. But one of my friends told me I should talk about them. It's funny because out of all the people I know she would never strike me as someone who is insecure. If fact, after many hilarious conversations I wish I could have recorded, she definitely is not.
Here is a fun little question, How many times have you taken like fifty pictures of yourself and then decided they weren't good enough because of this or that? Think about it, I can randomly delete all the photos on my phone and not worry about, because they were all selfies no one was ever going to see. It's not the fact that I enjoy taking pictures of myself, okay the stupid ones yeah, I can just never take the perfect picture. There are people who post pictures just so they can have attention brought to themselves, and I give them props because I couldn't do it.
One thing that used to piss me so much, was listening to girls complain and complain about their weight. Most of them weren't even close to fat, so I basically decided they were conceited, stuck up brats who only cared about the way they looked. But they weren't, they were just insecure because they felt their weight was a flaw that people would judge them about. Think about the movie Mean Girls, and if you say you've never watched it before, please let me punch you in the face. Anyways The Plastics were all just insecure mean girls who wanted everyone to believe that they were perfect. Regina was concerned with her weight so that made it easy for Cady to manipulate her. Cady was insecure about her intelligence so she started acting stupid to get Aaron to tutor her, only to find out later that he liked her better when she was herself. Gretchen just felt like she had to be apart of something so she did end up joining the "cool asians." Even the the movie was very sexual, funny, and filled with backstabbing it did teach a really good lesson. I mean on Wednesdays we wear pink, some people just want to be apart of something.
It's really easy to feel insecure, I said in another post before, that when people stare at me I just think about every flaw they could be seeing. Maybe it's because I can't read minds, but I sure as hell would love to know why people stare at me. Insecurities kind of go hand in hand with fears, because most of the time you're afraid that people will find out the things that make you insecure.
