Procrastinating on life.

I am a blogger. I have this  pretty little blog where I post my thoughts and the things that interest me and keep it up to date, or so I tell myself. To be honest, I can't even remember the last time I checked my blog let alone wrote something. I keep telling myself I'll check it later or come back and look at it when I have the time. WHEN I HAVE THE TIME? Let's be real here, if I have time to think about something I probably have the time to check it. It's like telling a friend that you were going to text them but you didn't have the time. Yet you had enough time to check your Twitter or Instagram and watch your favorite show, but you did not have the time to text me. But I'm not referring to the fact that someone forgot to text me, to be honest I'm not keeping tabs. I'm referencing the fact that when it comes to life we the way we do things can be some what strange. When did checking social media become more important than checking on you're actual friends. That's friends not followers, the people you call when you need to lean on someone shoulders, not the people you send out philosophical quotes to in hopes of getting an unrealistic number of likes.

We have become a 140 characters or less society. If you can't grasp my attention in that many words , chances are I'm going to be bored. Sure there are moments when you have to sit through conversations, but after awhile the things you don't want to hear get ignored and you move one. I told myself I wanted to be a writer, well I don't see any New York Times best seller with my name on it, let alone actually written a book. I'll tell myself you can write later, it won't take that long to write a book. I want to, I want to write a book, but it's the life experience I lack on. Maybe I lack imagination. I don't even know what this blog is for anymore. Sometimes people, we let things pass us by when really we need to just take every chance and opportunity we have. It's not enough just to dream anymore, you have to go after the things you want.

I have this blog and I'm pretty sure no one reads it.

New phone

See I got a new phone again so in honor of that I decided that it was time I made a blog post from a mobile device. I guess it's going to take some getting used to this phone is the same size as my face.  I think it's cool and  a whole lot faster than my last phone. My goal is to learn the ins and out of my phone and basically other technology so I can use everything efficiently.  I think it's important to know everything you possibly can about something.  Please excuse any typos. 

Xoxo Mercedes

New music, fandoms and hot boys...

It seems that everywhere I look there are new bands and people just trying to make their mark on the world. People taking risks to just follow their dreams no matter what. It's all about believing in yourself. Sometimes it feels like I end up getting into new groups when they are well established and others sometimes I'll find them when they are new. I hate feeling like a fan who just jumps on a bandwagon and follows where the most famous people go. But when music or people are just so amazing you just want to follow them. It's crazy being 18 and then seeing other people close yo my age you are so successful. 

I previously said I was going to talk about The Janoskians and I will, and I'll also talk about Brandyn Burnette. I honestly think when it comes to famous people you just kind of wonder what it would be like to know them and not because they can share their fame with you but because they were normal once too. Everyone has a cool personal story and you just kind of want to know it. But it's personal and if they choose to share that's cool too.  But it's probably hard not knowing everyone's motives.  In fact I do believe one of the members of The Janoskians tweeted something like that not too long ago :

Not knowing what people's intentions are is the worst
— James Yammouni (@James_Yammouni) July 16, 2014

 It's crazy how that group is just a crazy bunch of friends doing what they love and having a good time. I would love to have a friendship like that where no matter what you don't have to stress and you can just have fun. Because life should be fun and friendship shouldn't be stressful. 

What I'm listening to:

 If you check out my 'what I'm listening to' sidebar you'll see it's been updated recently. I have my two favorite some from The Janoskians, Best friends & Real Girls Eat Cake. Two fun single that just kind of keep you pumped up. They are a couple songs that keep me motivated on a run. Black Widow by Iggy Azalea is also on my playlist as well. I also have a new Imagine Dragon's song, Battle cry, which is from the new Transformer's movie. But there's also this really awesome song by Brandyn Burnette called, Thanks for nothing. Seriously if you haven't heard it click the Spotify play button and listen to it. It's awesome and upbeat and it just reminds you that life doesn't have to be stressful. If you like it it's on Itunes:  click here, just saying.

Social media is a pretty cool thing because it helps you get an idea of who people are and Brandyn seems like a pretty awesome person and his music rocks. It's pretty cool knowing that with all those followers he still tries to make an effort to respond to all the tweets. If you don't believe me follow him yourself.

#ThanksForNothing is so much fun to play live. I love watching people's faces in the crowd when the chorus drops! 😱😂 http://t.co/g3KiU5qiqf
— Brandyn Burnette (@brandynburnette) July 16, 2014

I probably have way more to say but I'm going to stop for now before I sound too much of a fangirl.
Well have fun check out the music and enjoy life more to come
xoxo,
Mercedes

Struggling to write

What's this a blog? Wait something I'm actually supposed to update and write on every now and then. Oops guess I've been forgetting to do something. Wait I actually haven't forgotten, I've been avoiding it. I think one of the reasons why is partially because I feel like I have nothing to say. I feel like most of my thoughts are just relevant enough for twitter, instagram or even a comment section on YouTube but not worthy enough for a blog. I'm sorry about that but from the view counter I don't really think anyone has been checking out my blog in a long time so it's all good.  Atleast I can say I've been into some new things recently and I'm also on the quest for a job so stay tuned for new things coming. What do you think would happen if I became a YouTube video blogger? Probably nothing, I don't think I'd have that many views. I still am on that journey to be AN AUTHOR so hopefully i can finally come up with some coherent thoughts that can be made into a novel sometime soon.
Future blogposts:

1. The Janoskians. (They are awesome)
2. Getting a job, ( You know those normal people who actually have to work for a living)
3. Writing - hopefully we'll see some progress there
4. Many more things but so I don't get your hopes up we can just some stuff.

Also I have been reading a lot but I usually document that more on goodreads  now so check out what I'm reading. It should be in a sidebar somewhere.

Teachers: What do they actually teach you?

Have you ever gone to class  and just wondered what the heck you were doing listening to some old person lecturing you about things you'll probably never think about outside of school? Sometimes I'll finish a class and then I'll just wonder to myself what I actually learned. It seems like a waste to go to school and feel like you didn't really learn anything. But I think the best lessons were the ones your teachers didn't have in the lesson plans. The life advice they give you because they actually have experience and they want you to succeed in the world. The things they tell you because they actually care.

In life you'll more than likely always meet someone who is more experienced in certain areas than you are. Whether it's school, a sport, a job or even a hobby, there's someone out there you could learn from. Those people that share their skill set with you, and try to make you better are just like the teachers you try to make you more educated so you can be successful in life. But sometimes you just can't help but think in your head when your listening to some sixty year old person going on and on about how they used to this and that ans what not, that they are wasting your time. Thinking about it now, I don't think those people tell these stories because they enjoy hearing their voice and want to make young people suffer through a history lesson. Maybe they want us to learn from their experiences and for us to be able to grow from them. They say history repeats itself and that's why you need to be educated on it, so you can see that cycle.


You know that metaphor everyone uses to describe life? Something about it being a roller coaster with many twists and turns and you never know what you are going to get? One of my coaches said to me, that some people say the prefer Merry go rounds, because they just go in circles. That is basically like saying that they just do the same things over and over and they do it because they know there will be no surprises. They also said that some people pick the roller coaster they get on to with the choices they make especially if they know what the consequences are going to be. But there are always those people who don't get on the ride at all because they are really  too afraid to take any risks, so they hold themselves back. When I look back on my life I don't want to be that person who didn't get on the ride at all. I want to be the person that created opportunities and actually did things whether or not they sucked or were totally awesome, I want to do them. 

Life tip #4: To have some excitement every once in awhile. You know when you haven't done anything interesting in along time, it's alright to live a little and do something fun and unexpected. No need to break the law, just get some adrenaline pumping. You know, fork somebodies yard or do some ding dong ditching.

Sometimes you don't have to be in a classroom to learn and experience things. More life tips to come...

The Future...

So plain and simple: The future is scary. I'd like to say otherwise and be all wide eyed and optimistic but I can't because it scares me. Anything can happen and nothing is guaranteed and honestly you just don't know what you're going to get.  People say that they can't wait until the future for things to happen, but the future is now and things don't just happen, you have to make them happen.

You can't just live life scared to go outside your bubble because you it's not guaranteed that you'll stay safe. On the other hand living impulse by impulse might just leave you sixteen and pregnant or I don’t know dead. Where's the happy medium? It's so sad when that person who has worked their butt off their whole life and then when they decide to have a little fun something bad happens. It's even more frustrating when that person who has done every impulsive act imaginable, nothing bad ever happens to them. It's like there are rules and exceptions to those rules and then you're just left wondering where you fit in to it all. Life I tell you is just a complicated thing, and it really hasn't even started yet.

Every birthday since I turned thirteen I want to say my parents have told me that I'm one year closer to being tried as an adult. I know that sounds really depressing and also looks like they think the worst of me but honestly, they were being realistic. It only takes one stupid mistake nowadays to get yourself in trouble and you have to be aware of what you’re doing. Like when you get your driver's license it's the most exciting thing in the world, no more waiting for your parents to pick you up. But every time you get behind the wheel you have to know that you could be putting other people in harm’s way if you don't pay attention. It's so stressful knowing that something that can be so fun can be dangerous as well. Sometimes I wish my future self would send me text messages of what not to do because I really don't want to mess up. Like you never know when that important English essay you have is just going to delete itself the night before it's due.

Whenever I think about the future, I think about the show One Tree Hill. It has nine seasons and with every season you just never know what’s going to happen.  My favorite characters from that show are Nathan Scott and Haley; they’re this couple that goes through so many different hardships that you just don’t think will make it in the end. Watching the show makes you realize there is no age limit you have to be to fall in love or become successful, you can get all that by going after what you want. I watch these characters grow and become better versions of themselves and I just wish that I can do the same. The point is, you never know what's going to happen, whether it’s falling in love and getting married at seventeen or being your own boss by the age of twenty two, anything can happen.

Sometimes I just wonder how my grandparents made it this far in life because it just seems like so much. But you know I might be scared but I'm also not afraid of going through life. I know that things are going to happen and many of them might suck, but there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Slutty brownies...

Now that I have captured your attention, if you don't know what slutty brownies are I'll explain them to you. My friends freaked out when they heard that name. "Slutty brownies oh my God, Mercedes  what are you doing?!" I couldn't stop laughing, the text messages kept coming, "do we need to talk about something..." it was like they thought I was going insane, which is probably true... I'm not going to lie when I told my mom she had this alarmed shock look on her face like I was out of my mind. She was all like "I'm telling your father, how's he going to feel about his daughter talking about sluts," it was actually kind of funny.

 Getting to know slutty brownies...

I discovered this cool brownie picture on Pinterest one day when I was bored and then I realized I could actually make them.Slutty brownies are one layer cookie dough topped with Oreos and then cover with brownie mix. They are super easy to make because you just bake them until the brownies are cooked all the way.  After baking them in the oven and letting them cool for a bit, they are ready to eat and they taste heavenly. My family pretty much enjoyed them they were so addictive. When I was at the store buying the ingredients for the brownies my phone was being blown up. My friend who I quoted earlier had asked me if "slutty brownies" was code for weed brownies. Like how crazy would I have to be to make weed brownies, let alone feed them to my family. I really couldn't stop laughing when I read that text because it so so unexpected. I'm about 99.9% sure that she didn't believe me when I said no. I mean even though my friends and pretty much everyone else thought I was crazy at least the brownies tasted good.

Say something I'm giving up on you...

Every time I come to blog, I tell my self I'll have a cool title this time something people want to read. But I seriously just end up laughing at my stupidity and settle for something lame. That happens with like 99.9% of my tweets. The ones that end up on twitter are like my edited PG thoughts because I don't know what people would say if they heard my real ones. Alright I'll be honest the things I don't share aren't bad, they're just really honest and would probably be considered really good subtweets. I pretty much type something up , laugh at it and then erase it and move on with my life. I really just need someone to share my thoughts with because many of them are really good.

Like I just wrote a paragraph and then deleted it because it felt so weird for people to read. Do you ever send a text message to someone and the feel completely vulnerable because you don't know how they are going to judge it? Like that one message can redefine your whole relationship with that person? you know it happens with friendships too. That's how you know whether or not someone can be a real friend. People are going to judge you and not understand the choices you make, but a few of them will be sure to stand by you when you make them.

Sometimes I'm not even sure I I'm thinking so hard about life. Maybe it's the songs hear on my playlist or something but they inspire me. They make me think about who I am and the person I'm becoming. Most of the songs I hear are easy to relate to even though I haven't been in a relationship or got dumped. But you know what they still play with your heart anyways. When the song "Let Her Go" by Passenger comes on you stop what you're doing and sing. I really love when I'm with people I like when my favorite song comes on because I'm not afraid to sing. In fact I will sing especially if they are willing to sing with me. The best part is I can't sing so it's very entertaining. 

I think at one point there was a point to this post but it got lost in the music, sorry... xoxo

Hey It's me again!!!

 Life happens...

Well it's a new year seeing as the last time I blogged it was 2013, and now January is close to being over and I realized that I really miss blogging. Not that anything I ever had to say was that interesting , it was just fun to let it all out. This isn't a book I'm writing that has a certain plot or some article for journalism that has to be school appropriate, this it just me expressing what I have to say.It so often surprises me that sometimes people can even relate to it. Now I'm not going to make it my New Year's resolution to blog more, because let's face it, I'd probably ignore it anyway. Whenever I  feel inspired and not half asleep though, I'll blog.

Hopefully my writing flows a  little easier and you're not just reading a bunch of my jumbled up thoughts, because my thoughts get a little too crazy and confusing. What you don't understand is that, there are so many things that I want to say, some of them I'm just afraid to. I don't want to limit myself but then I don't want to share too much.

Why I am totally dateable…

In journalism we were told to write a persuasive article about any topic. My friend and I were joking around about what to write so I decided to write a fake article . Who writes fake articles? Lame people who have no life, but whatever. Here is what I came up with.:

Why I am totally date-able…



Did you know that in the world of high-school dating, freshman girls and senior boys have the highest chances of successfully getting together? But their relationship usually treads between the borders of good and just plain creepy.  If you didn’t already know that, I’m guessing you can look around your school hallways and find the girls that are usually called “baby hoes”, just know they didn’t get those names because of their kind hearts. So why is it, that many senior girls are often single? One website claims it’s because they’re “picky” and won’t give certain people a chance. Yeah, that’s probably true because after four years of dealing with the same guys, they probably just know what they want in a relationship. After being taught over and over again that boys just want sex and that’s all they want, it’s amazing that girls still date. But thinking about it that's not really true because, girls think about sex just like any guy except they will probably lie about it or freak out that you asked them that sort of question. Besides, if you don’t feel comfortable enough talking about sex, you most likely shouldn’t be having it in the first place.

Chances are that if you are reading this you are probably single. Well guess what so am I, and have been for the past seventeen years. So instead of letting an opportunity go by, I’m just going to tell you why I am totally date-able. Sadly I don’t think saying “because I’m awesome,” will be convincing enough and it makes it sound like I think too highly of myself. On a serious note, I’m not really a mean person and I don’t have a “type”.  So maybe I do have a “type”, but let’s just say you fit it. Now sometimes music choices can make or break a relationship, but I don’t really care what you listen to as long as your little heart is happy. If you want to listen to Taylor Swift be my guest. But  I really don’t hate on people’s music choices but I just don’t understand many of them, if you listen to Selena Gomez though you’re winning.I'll pretty much listen to anything because I like giving songs a chance before I decide I absolutely hate them.  I’ll sing with you, really I’m a bad singer, but in the end I’m willing to look stupid as long as it’s fun. I enjoy horror movies, and by enjoy I mean I like hiding behind pillows and  jumping from my seat when things happen. So at least if we watch one together you can get a good laugh because my reactions are pretty hilarious. I’m really honest, if you do something stupid, chances are I’m going to tell you and not to make you feel dumb either. AlsoI like being right, but I don’t mind being wrong, I’m not going to explode with anger if you know something I don’t. Just don’t question my intelligence and I won’t question yours.               

My personality type is type B, which means I’m pretty relaxed and easy going so at least you know I’m not going to freak out at a drop of a dime. I’m kind of a mix between type A and B, but I think being angry and holding grudges is a waste of time.  I’m a runner, if that says something, it says it all. I put in a lot of energy to run, which is why I really don’t get into fights and I stay pretty relaxed.  Also I like to work out and being healthy and I am not one of those girls who complain about their weight. If you think I’m not skinny enough, tough luck kid, go date a toothpick.  If you decide I’m worth dating, just know I do like sarcasm but I limit it so you know how I really feel. But I like discussions and debates, on simple things. I don’t talk politics and I really don’t discriminate against other people’s religious views. I like to read, which means I have patience and I’m pretty committed, but maybe reading has nothing to do with either of those things. If you like reading we can have discussions about books! Even though that sounds really lame, and would probably make us losers.  I’m not afraid to say what’s on my mind or what I’m feeling, in fact if we’re going to be losers , we will be the most amazing losers in the world.  I’d do anything for the people I care about, and chances are, if we’re dating I probably would have to like you at least a little bit. I'm a really, really good listener.  If you called me in the middle of the night or the middle of the day saying you needed someone to talk to I’d answer, always. If you needed a person to lean on I’d be over in a minute. Just know I can only bench press seventy five pounds so don’t expect to be throwing all of your weight at me...but I would be there.

I’m a girl, so chances are you think all girls have some crazy freak bipolar tendencies, and I’m here to tell you that that is sometimes true. I like to keep my emotions plain and simple and I don’t need to act sad to get people’s attention. Ask me what’s wrong and I’ll tell you. If I say something like, “I don’t want to talk about it,” that damn right means “I really want to talk about it and for you to listen, but I don’t want you to think I’m annoying.” I don’t do leading people on, that crap gets old and after a while even little kids stop chasing butterflies. I really like laughing and I enjoy making other people laugh, but I really don't consider myself funny at all. If you laugh it’s usually when I’m not trying and my favorite thing to see is a smile on someone’s face. If you’re smiling like a creep though, we might need to talk.

There are many things a person can fear, I’m probably scared of a 101 things but you’ll never know what they are unless you ask. If you ask me for my number that’s like a guaranteed yes, because you asked and the only other guy who has asked me was like my coaches son. I’m a pretty good multi-tasking, I wrote this while I was working on my English homework, aren’t I cool?  You know how when you meet someone, something about them can just stand out and you know you like them? Well the first thing I notice about a person is their smile and their eyes. I like guys who aren’t afraid to show emotion and I just like happy people. But, rarely will I ever mention to a guy that they have nice eyes, and if I do I’m either on some weird medication, or I like that person. It really doesn’t matter what color eyes you have, although I have a favorite. I hope my personality makes up for brown eyes because let’s face it, they’re basic.

Drama is pretty pointless, and I don’t even like to go near it. I wouldn’t even take the class. Sure after watching Mean Girls, I kind of wish I could see that type of drama but no, I don’t even want to be a part of it. It get's annoying when other people get involved in personal things and that is something I don't have patience for.

They are probably many different reasons that I’m date-able, but I’m trying not to sound too pretentious. But I hope you found what I had to say at least a little bit interesting. This probably wasn't proof read.  I try not to bore people to death, sorry but I’m not sorry if I did.

Control

When people get dumped, I don't think they are really that mad because it was embarrassing and that they really liked that person and expected a happily ever after. Well, okay maybe that's possible, but I think people are more upset because they didn't do it  themselves. Because who likes being beat at their own game? Sorry, but if someone gives you a warning signal that they don't have feelings for you anymore, take that hint and end it. Otherwise don't go crying when they do.You see it in the movies all the time guy/girl dumps significant other, significant other get's upset cries, screams and shouts then says something like, "I was going to break up with you anyways". Well you could have but you didn't so it kind of sucks for you right now.

I'm honestly not trying to sound cynical but, it's the control aspect of the sitiuation. No one likes to be out of control. You know those people who are afraid of love and want nothing to do with it? The one's who say they could live with a bunch of hook ups and be fine with it. Many times those people are just afraid of getting hurt. You can't control someone else's feelings and you can't stop them from hurting you. No one wants to get hurt. If you do enjoy getting hurt, you should see someone about that.

Imagine this, you're a teenager who just got their driver's license and it's a big deal. You finally get to drive and you have all this freedom. Now imagine after a few months of driving you're parents tell you that you can't drive for some silly reason and that you have to ride the bus. Tragic, right? There isn't exactly anything wrong with riding the bus, someone drives you around for free?  But it's like you lost something you actually had control over. You could hop in a car and go wherever you wanted, you were behind the wheel and it was all up to you. Having someone else behind the wheel sucks. See I know I can't drive because of my pain medicine and it just makes me sad because I love driving myself places.

Today my nurse asked me if I had to go "potty". I seriously wanted to Gibbs slap him across the back of his head. Like how old do I look? I hate doctors, hospitals and because they seem to be the only one's who can diagnose me and I still don't know what's wrong. I don't like taking medicine because I don't like the idea of relying on something that is only going the mask the problem and not get rid of it. I don't like feeling weak or pathetic and that is why I rarely tell people what the heck is going on. I feel like if someone cares enough about you, they will ask the questions, actually try to find things out. But I do talk to the people I care about because I would never want them to worry. I've only been seriously upset because I couldn't control something and that was my grandmother having Breast Cancer. No one told me she had had it for  a year. No one told me she had surgery. No one told me until they thought I needed to know. Now that may have been a good call but at the time I found out I just wish I could have done something important that could help. I had never taken cancer as a joke but now I take it even more seriously. Breast Cancer Awareness is one of the reasons why my favorite color is pink.

I believe in romance and happy endings. I think that one day the answers will come. That's why I enjoy blogging and writing. It's the one thing I can control, I can create my own happy endings. Somethings are out of our grasps and we just have to go with the flow. But everyone get's afraid sometimes. I can't control how you'll react to this but I hope it means something to you because every post means something to me.

What would you do if......

Someone asked me what I would do if the person in front of me bought the last 3 musketeers bar from the vending machine. The answer is simple, I would push them down grab it and run away triumphantly. Okay, so maybe I really wouldn't do that but it sounds good.  If you're wondering whats so great about this candy bar, it's my absolute favorite.  In the past couple of weeks it's honestly been my lunch everyday and if you don't believe me, I have witnesses. Obviously it's not the healthiest choice, but it's mine. If a guy brought me a 3 musketeers bar for no reason, I would be the happiest person in the world, but that's never going to happen so...

There are certain  ways I would react to different situations and just remember Karma is a bitch. If you don't believe that, ask me how I spilled water all over myself. That is why I wouldn't push someone down unless they were trying to beat me up because I don't want to get jumped at some later point in my life. So What would I do if.....

1. Marvin doesn't win America's Next Top Model Cycle 20?I would probably cry and talk about how much I hate the show and how the fact that he didn't win was stupid.  I would also most likely eat myself into a food coma.

Well Marvin didn't win and I didn't cry. I've just been in shock and you know at least he was happy when he lost. I still can't believe it, a guy honestly should have won and it should have been him. Why can't people see the same talent I see? I was team Starvin Marvin from the beginning, everyone talked about how he wouldn't make it. Well that kid made it to the finale, the final two and he did an amazing job. Jourdan was a great model, I just hated her the whole time. Maybe that's how she won she took all the dislike and having little to no support and turned it into great photographs. I'm really just upset though, not saying she didn't deserve it. I just hated hearing her sob story every step of the way. But she won and she's America's Next top Model and I'm still in  high school dreaming about  being a model, which isn't happening. This is just the first time in a while where I actually got involved with a show and now I'm disappointed.

2. When a character in a book/ show you like chooses the wrong guy?  I would get pissed and stop watching the show for awhile.

3. If some guy I know threw his water bottle at me?  Well this happened, and I ended up spilling water all over my pants. Wasn't really mad because I saw it coming since I started it. So I basically just walked around looking like I wet my pants. Sad, right?



4. If someone told me they wanted to commit suicide?  I would just listen and do my best to help them out. Sometimes all people need is somebody to listen to them. I wouldn't keep it to myself though, I'd tell someone who could potentially help them. I try to avoid any and all situations like this because I just can't deal with it.

5. If a guy I like asked me out? Honestly I would laugh. Only because I can never picture that happening and I'd probably think it was a prank. If they were being serious though, I would have to say yes.


6. If the person in front of me bought the last 3 musketeers bar from the vending machine?

..... All Hell would break loose. 


Life, things get real, sometimes.

Why am I so lame?

Mind reading.

One of my absolute favorite songs is, Hear me, by Imagine Dragons. It's funny because it's like my song, I find it very easy to relate to. Do you want to know why?That's simple, I just want people to hear me. No I want people to listen.The other song is called  Show me love, by The Wanted, it's a sad but inspirational song that really just makes me happy.

I'm no mind reader, I have no clue if people actually like the things I have to say or actually care to listen. Then when it seems like someone finally listens, it's like they are just judging me inside their little minds. Like can you not. I hate having to explain myself and I love the people who get me. I start about five different blog posts and delete most of them, and when I finally come up with a good idea, I'm just like nobody is going to read this because I wrote it. I blog about a lot of my personal experiences and the people I'm around, if you're close to me chances are I blogged about you. Don't worry if I like you it's usually funny, nice things. But  I will say I do feel bad for the friends I stopped talking to, the one's I cut off. I didn't exactly mean to, but I did and I had my reason's sadly.But the thing is, when I miss someone, I talk to them. I at least acknowledge them, just wanting them to know I do think about them.

I watched this move called Stuck in Love, and it was a depressing, happy, amazing movie that just kind of moved me. Lily Collins played a cynical romance hating nineteen year old and Logan Lerman played the sweet guy who just wanted to get to know her. She basically told the guys in the movie she would have sex with them because she knew they wanted to do it and she wanted to do it so it would be easy. Obviously she could read minds. Basically the moral of the story was that, the time makes the heart grow fonder.

I feel like this is about to get personal really fast so... Sorry. 

I needed distance, I'm pretty sure at one point everyone feels like they can't deal with something anymore, they're so over it. Isn't that why break ups happen? I doubt every guy a girl dates is  a cheating man whore. Just like I doubt that every girl the a guy goes out with is going to leave them for that guy's older/younger brother. No pretty sure decent people do exist. So I needed to seperate myself from the people who were causing me the most pain. They never hurt me or did me wrong, I just want to move on. It was like that much needed long run where as you're running, nothing  else matters. It's like being in a free world where it's ok if you look stupid while your jumping on your trampoline because no one is here to judge you. Now I'm no gymnast, but I was tired of doing flips for people who wouldn't do the same for me. I can't confide in someone who can't keep a secret and I can't comfort someone who won't take it. One time I told someone I'd never had my first kiss before and they just told me all my flaws and that I was pathetic. You know whats scary? I'm afraid that I almost believed them.

One of the reasons I love texting so much is because, I actually have time to think things through with out feeling rushed. There are moments when I'm just like, I could have said this or that, but really no need to over think a text message. Sure if my crush texted me I'd probably be a little excited-oh wait- he doesn't have my number. Because, well that would just make me happy.

"I got a thousand friends that follow me/
Just to read about my misery"

I don't want people to listen or talk to me because they think I'm miserable and need comforting. No that is not me. I'm a happy person who's just going through life,I've just come to not deal with certain things anymore. I'm a  teenage girl who just wishes people would understand the way I think about things.I like it when people talk to me because they want to.

But right now I'm just counting stars....

Shit Girls Say

Lol XD I can't even function right now, funny laughs that I needed. 

What is life?

 Talk about being  unlucky. Having Microsoft word go crazy on you and lock you out of all of your files, well that's just kind of unfortunate, especially when you have so much crap due!It's just so depressing and sad and I just want to cry. But I won't, because no one has time for little baby tears. I guess I'll have to figure things out so I can get everything done, but I really wanted to blog. I've got a planner full of assignments and I'm managing my time out so I can have a little fun. Music, running, studying, oh the stress. I was really looking forward to working on my book too, but that's hard to do when the documents aren't working in your favor. You know this probably wasn't a good option, but anyways I went on Twitter because I was bored and tired of complaining to myself. Only to find more people complaining for themselves. It's okay every now and then to see that, but when your whole timeline is filled with people talking about giving up, and complaining, it makes you want to work harder. When it seems like everyone is all depressed, you just need something to cheer you up. So here is something cute to make your day!

New Steps

Today begins chapter one. Seriously, I'm starting my book today because I'm tired of starting things and never finishing. Well some things are about to change. Wish me luck because I seriously don't know where to start. 

Love Abroad

Growing up, I always wondered what life would be like if my parents had sent me to a boarding school. Being a military brat it probably would have given me a stable environment to live in. I never thought about the possibility of falling in love at boarding school, and I definitely never thought about going to one over seas. But let's be honest how cool would that be? To be on your own in another country. Visiting cool places with your class mates all the time, and learning the language, unless you already know it. I like to explore so I wouldn't even be mad about getting shipped off. I've been independent my whole life and pretty adaptable. But what happens when you feel like you're being forced to go some where for your senior year of high school? All those friends you made won't be there for you at your new school... What happens when you start developing a relationship with someone and are forced to leave them behind only to start having feelings for someone else? Will people get hurt or will everyone be happy in the end? Will you discover new things about yourself or give up on trying new things?

Meet Anna...

Anna had  a perfect plan going. She was going to start dating her crush and have the best senior year ever. This soon comes to a halt after Anna's  dad decides to send her to a boarding school in France for Americans. He wants Anna to become more cultured. For the first time in her life Anna will learn what it feels like to be alone, have all the friends in the world, and she'll learn what love and happiness is all about.  Follow Anna on her journey.

What I thought?

This book was really good. It kind of messes with your emotions because you wish that certain things didn't happen. After reading this book I want to learn French and Italian and just travel the world. It's a romantic novel that will make you wish you could experience the similar things Anna is going through. It was kid of a short read, that is if you are a really fast reader, but I'd recommend just slowly enjoying the story. You won't regret reading this book.

It's a start

     Have you ever read an amazing book that had you sitting on the edge of your seat, wanting to know what is going to happen next? What about those gushy teen romance novels that leave you in tears or questioning your own real life relationships? Do you ever want to talk about your friends about what happened in these breathtaking novels but find yourself getting frustrated because they don't understand the beauty of the piece?

     I'm just going to tell you now everyone of those things have happened to me. I've read so many amazing books and I realized why not share what I thought about them with people who have similar interests? I'm going to go into the future, back into my past, and review the amazing books that i have read and talk about the ones I'm currently reading. Everyone has a different interpretation of what happens and I want to know if people agree with the things I have to say. Maybe this blog will help out authors too.

     Truthfully this blog isn't just about reading the books it's about writing them too. I want to write an amazing book that either has people crying or falling out of their chairs. Actually scratch that, I want to write many amazing books. You have a hobby, reading is one of mine. I've started writing about five books but will i have the guts to finish them? Hopefully I can strengthen my writing skills and work on connecting with an audience with this blog.


It's going to be a journey but I hope you come along for the ride.