Something about feelings.

When someone makes you the happiest person and the saddest person at the same time, that's when it's real. That's when it’s worth something.
— Chuck Bass (@ltsChuck) May 7, 2014

Have you ever met someone and it's like all of a sudden nothing else matters? Like those moments your with them just feel so fantastic that all the bad things in your world just disappear. I picked the tweet above to share because hey, it's Chuck Bass and because it just feels incredibly true. In life I feel like things that are the most worth it are the things that are challenging and difficult. Like right now writing this blog post is challenging because I have a bunch of things on my mind that I want to say but the backspace button seems to be getting a workout. But who knows this post might actually be worth it.

I hate watching movies where  a character ends up with a happy ending even though they didn't really deserve it. Like no where in the storyline do they even attempt to try and in the end they turn out to be the hero or they have a passionate kiss with the so called love of their life. To me that's boring! Where's the excitement, the drama, the tear jerking moments that  actually mean something?I honestly like movies that make me cry because that means I had to have felt something. In the end I think everyone just wants to feel something. Even if that something is pain.

Recently I did meet someone who may have changed my life a little bit, maybe more than that. Not only did they help me learn more about myself but they also made me feel really happy. But what really got me is the fact that I don't think this person really realized how truly amazing they are. I'm not huge on talking but when I do talk it's with someone that I like. But when I'm not talking, I'm observing because I like to watch the little things that people do. Sometimes cute little things people do naturally are the things that make them stand out the most. When people point out your flaws or say negative things about you, it's easy to get stuck those ideas. To think that no one would ever really get to see the real you because all they can see are those negative things. I feel like when someone makes you happy those "flaws" don't matter they just make that person ten times better. With me I have the hardest time showing affection and or sharing my feeling because I'm so afraid that when people discover the real me, they'll realize I'm bad for them. So I've spent a lot of my time pushing people that I actually like away, or I just don't let them in.I But that's my fault and I want to change it. If I keep hiding behind this fear that no one will ever like me if they get to know me, no one is ever going to like me because I won't let them. I just want people to be happy, thats ll that matters to me.

Maybe that's why I don't like movies with a happy ending, because I 'm afraid I'll never get one of my own.